Wouldn't it have been easier for this guy just to pee in an alley? Or . . . God forbid . . . a toilet?

Last week, 32-year-old John Wesley Crews of Crestview, Florida apparently had to pee.

So he walked into an Ace Hardware store and . . . maybe to get some privacy? . . . ROLLED HIMSELF in a large piece of CARPET. Then he relieved himself inside.

Employees saw him and called the cops. When they got there, John apologized for peeing in the carpet . . . but also got angry at the cop for, quote, "smirking" at him.

He ended up being charged with burglary and criminal mischief.

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