© Syda Productions | Dreamstime

The Horrible Crime You'd Commit, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

August 10, 2017

Welll.....

ARIES: Driving on a suspended or revoked license
It's not a stretch to imagine you driving even if you've been forbidden to do so. You probably had a few run ins with the law in regard to driving too fast, driving while intoxicated, or driving recklessly. Once you lost your license, using public transportation or having to rely on other people for rides would get old fast. At first, you just take short drives to the store or the gym, but then you got cocky. You got caught and had to suffer tougher circumstances rather than just having your license confiscated. 
 
TAURUS: Tax evasion
You resent it every time you have to pay your taxes, especially when those payments get in the way of you getting the finer things in life. You don't plan necessarily on not paying your taxes, it just happens out of laziness and avoidance. When nothing happens right away you start to think that maybe paying isn't such a big deal or maybe you claim breaks and credits that you aren't eligible for. In your mind, it's all a big misunderstanding when the IRS comes calling and you're audited. All those dinners that you claimed were "meetings" aren't going to sit that well with the taxman.
 
GEMINI: Public intoxication
Just because the club closed and the party ended, it doesn't mean that you're through. If you feel like partying you're going to do so. Who cares that you're both drunk and disorderly? Come on, you're just trying to have the good times go on and on. You might be slurring your words and falling down but hey, you're still the life of the party. When you ultimately get arrested, you'll try to convince the officers that you didn't mean any harm and that you're a good person. It won't work; they're still going to put you in lockup.
 
CANCER: Blackmail
Sometimes our best qualities can lead to our worst actions and such is the case with you. You're very compassionate and you feel things deeply. However, if someone hurt you badly enough, you might feel that you had to hurt them back and that you might as well get something in return for your heartbreak. During some heart to heart talk you had with a friend or loved one, you might have learned some valuable information that you use to blackmail someone else, someone who did you wrong or who broke your heart. You'll have lots of time to ruminate about your broken relationship when you're convicted.
 
LEO: Shoplifting
When you want something, you want it now. You don't enjoy denying yourself and others so when you see something you want, you just take it. You rationalize that stealing from a store is a victimless crime — the store is heavily insured. And besides, they probably take theft into account anyway. You start off with small, cheap items but gradually become more brazen, stealing more expensive and rare items. The more you steal the more you get off on the thrill until you start being careless and get caught. What's the big deal? It's just merchandise! It's not as if you were hurting anybody.
 
VIRGO: Computer hacking
If there's one thing you love, it's a chance to show how much of a genius and computer badass you are. You start off testing yourself to see if you can hack un-hackable programs and then you start to explore the dark web. By the time you realize that you've gone too far and too deep, you're already locked into it. You're so full of yourself that you can see how dangerous you're making things for yourself and others and you keep going. Hubris or excessive self-importance is what will lead to your own downfall.

LIBRA: Prostitution
You don't understand what the problem is. You enjoy people and are a natural people-pleaser. Why shouldn't you get paid for making people happy? You're proud of your body, so you might as well make some money off of it. You'd go to Nevada or somewhere that's prostitution is legal, but why? You'd rather be your own boss than having to answer to someone. You just take things for granted, such as not being harmed by a customer, robbed, or getting arrested. If you want to be a sex worker, that's your choice, but you've got to be smart about it and diligent on things like safety and health. When things go badly on a date, you don't have the inner resources to take care of it and things can get ugly.
 
SCORPIO: Arson
Your passion burns as intensely as a fire so it's not completely out of the realm of possibilities that you could get so wrapped up in vengeance or consumed by an unrequited love that you would decide to do some damage of your own using fire. You'd definitely get off on igniting a fire and then watching it burn; a building being devoured by flames would be exciting and fascinating for you. You probably are one of those people who rush to watch a fire. You've got the makings of a firebug and you're arrogant enough to think that you won't get burned.
 
SAGITTARIUS: Identity theft
You love people so much you'd have no trouble impersonating them. You like to travel and have experiences, but that costs money and if you don't have the kind of job that allows you to travel in the way that you're accustomed, you'd commit a crime that would help you such as identity theft. You might include a little pick-pocketing to get credit cards and IDs (in case you're already in the system and could be stopped at the border if you were using your own name). There are so many things you could do with someone else's identity: insurance fraud, tax fraud, medical fraud and financial identity fraud. The best part is you can do it anywhere.

CAPRICORN: Embezzlement
If you felt that you weren't getting your due, you might take matters into your own hands. If the company that you worked with cheated you out of a commission or confiscated an idea of yours, you would feel justified in getting back what you rightfully thought was yours. You might skim a little off the top initially but as time went on, if there were no repercussions, you might take more and more. You wouldn't think of it as stealing but as getting what was rightfully yours in the first place. You'd probably be careful enough to cover your tracks and conscientious enough to give some of the funds to a charity. 

AQUARIUS: Vandalism
You would never think of your actions as vandalism. You'd either be beautifying something with the art of spray paint or you'd be making a political statement. When someone cuts down a forest to put up office buildings, you would have no choice but to vandalize. You're not trying to hurt someone, you are trying to save humanity and nature. Someone has to stand up for the environment and if it means embarking on political vandalism, so be it. You don't see why someone would get upset at a giant penis spray-painted on the side of a building. 
 
PISCES: Aiding and abetting
It's so hard for you to say no to anybody that you care about and sometimes you don't have the best judgment, so it's not unthinkable that you would assist someone in a crime. Being an accessory to a crime can be very serious especially if it's something like driving the getaway car, being the lookout, or helping someone transport drugs. You're not helping them and you're not helping yourself for even if you're not the one committing the main crime, you're still involved and your charges can go from aiding and abetting to conspiracy and that's really not good.

(yourtango)