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8 Surprising Reasons Women May Not Want Sex... (Only 8?)

August 15, 2017

Now a doctor has shared some of the factors that can cause trouble with your libido and what you can do to help.

1. Your family suppressed sexuality 

If you were raised in a place where most folks felt that sex is bad or to be feared for religious or cultural reasons, you might suppress your own early sexual exploration.

Early fears of sexuality remain with us once we are adults and can be difficult to shake.  Sometimes it can be therapeutic to flaunt those rigid norms by yourself or with a lover that you trust.

2. You have low body confidence

If you were raised in a family or culture that had strict definitions of what a sexy woman should look like, you may feel inadequate in comparison.

The great majority of potential lovers are interested in you because you are physically attracted to them, not because you fit some perfect ideal of the female form. Many men love women of all sizes and shapes, especially a woman that they care about and find interesting.

3. You've had previous trauma or bad sex – even long ago

About one in four women in the world experience sexual trauma - incest or rape - before the age of 18. In some countries, it is as high as 50 percent. Add to this the number of women having sex too young, sex under the influence, or sex that they 'shouldn't' have had- and that's a whole lot of women with negative sexual experiences.

Sexual trauma can cause women to shut down sensations in their genitals and their sexual feelings, even if they’re extremely sexually active.

4. Sex is painful

The most common reason for pain with intercourse or penetration is the hormonal changes of menopause. Women can also experience early menopause from surgical removal of the ovaries and/or uterus at any age, or from chemotherapy or radiation for cancer treatment. This means penetrative sex without enough lubrication can cause many micro-tears of the vulva and vagina - ouch! In almost all cases, this can be helped with topical estrogens.

5. You don't have enough testosterone

Studies have found that testosterone is the major driver of libido in women. It increases desire for sexual behavior and genital arousal, sensation, and lubrication. When testosterone is low, women may benefit from a testosterone patch or some other treatment.

6. You have underlying medical issues

A variety of health issues can interfere with libido, including any chronic disease, thyroid malfunction, chronic pain, cancer and cancer treatment, and a large variety of medications. Have your doctor conduct thyroid and hormone tests, as well as a physical exam to pinpoint any issues.

7. Stress and busy-ness

Many women are just too busy for sex, even though a healthy sex drive gives back in spades what you put into it. Sexual activity has been found to reduce mortality and rates of illness, improve your hormonal profile, and reduce the risk of depression.

The keys to inviting your sex drive back into your life include using your body, physically, on a regular basis. Walk, bike, hike, dance the tango, or play badminton.

8. Lack of trust

Trust is the number-one ingredient necessary for a happy, healthy sex life. If you do not trust your partner, either emotionally or physically, it will be very difficult to have a hot sexual life.